A guest grapples with the dilemma of attending parties hosted by a couple, one of whom is facing cognitive challenges.
We’ve tried to skip out on these gatherings, but it feels bad to leave his husband hanging since he puts so much effort into the food and everything. We usually just pop in for a bit, mostly out of kindness.
Honestly, we don’t want to hurt their feelings by saying we’d rather not come. My husband and I are disabled, so hosting isn’t really an option for us either. If we did invite them over, it might just lead to chaos.
I’m wondering if there’s a better way to handle this situation without coming off as rude. Are we being inconsiderate for not returning the hospitality?
Miss Manners would say it’s not our fault for feeling this way. It’s kind of noble to put up with the situation, especially since the other spouse knows what’s going on. It’s all about being compassionate, even when it’s hard.
And then there’s this other story about a couple who just moved in. Their neighbors are super friendly, but one guy keeps dropping by a bit too often. One night, he showed up at 9 p.m. with oranges, and they were just about to eat dinner.
They were unsure if they should always invite neighbors in, especially since they’re still unpacking. But Miss Manners reassured them that it’s totally fine to accept gifts and let them know they’ll have them over once they’re settled.
It’s all about balance, right? You want to be polite but also keep your space.
